good god i hate kellog's

i'm no einstein, but fifteen years ago i had an idea for the ages: chocolate-cherry and/or chocolate-strawberry pop tarts. the creation was to have a chocolate pastry, with fruit filling. i wrote the kellog's company offering up the idea, saying it would be just like the combination flavor everyone loves in a milkshake.

naturally, i never heard back from them, and grew more and more irritated as the years passed and they released newer and suckier flavors: gay berry blast! neon inedible fruit!! hot fudge sundae!!!

(ew, Ew, and EW)

so it was to my cautious delight this morning when i discovered this.

the blend idea was present, but not in the way i had originally envisioned it (chocolate pastry, fruit filling). still, when you've waited fifteen years, you act on impulse and buy, buy away.

bad move.

the pop tart, i hate to say, sucks.

by making it half and half and not a combination of the whole, you don't get the proper mix of fruit and chocolate taste. and by making the chocolate a filling, it overpowers the strawberry when they do combine and then tastes pretty gross.

so thanks for that, kellog's, you fucking morons.

it's too bad bush is on his way out; whoever has been creating your pop tart flavors seems smart enough to fit right in with his administration.

assholes.


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