A nifty little literary trick is to present a list to a reader. They read it, come to a conclusion about its origins, and then the sender reveals the truth. It’s oh so clever!
That said, here’s a list:
Do not leave town at any time without permission.
Do not keep company with men.
Be home between the hours of 8 P.M. and 6 A.M.
Do not loiter downtown.
Do not smoke.
Do not be seen with any man except your father or brother.
Do not dress in bright colors.
Do not dye your hair.
Do not wear any dress more than two inches above the ankle.
Right about now, you should be shaking your head and thinking, “fucking Muslims, always repressing their women.” Well, here’s the “OMG!” twist; I edited the sentences a little. Here’s the full list, un-touched up:
Do not get married.
Do not leave town at any time without permission of the school board.
Do not keep company with men.
Be home between the hours of 8 P.M. and 6 A.M.
Do not loiter downtown in ice cream stores.
Do not smoke.
Do not get into a carriage with any man except your father or brother.
Do not dress in bright colors.
Do not dye your hair.
Do not wear any dress more than two inches above the ankle.
I pulled this list from a history book; it was meant to keep female schoolteachers in line in Massachusetts in the late 1800s and early 1900s.
Fortunately for women, a strong, independent political party fought for and won them many rights, including, in 1920, the right to vote. This same political party made many changes back then. They may have never achieved the office of president, but they were able to do little things, like end child labor—that six-year-olds may attend school and not work in sweatshops—and create Workman’s Compensation—that people injured through unsafe conditions and no fault of their own be taken care of, not fired.
Every election cycle there is a constant grumbling that we need a 3rd political party in America. I agree. In 2008, I was completely unimpressed with both major candidates; I strongly considered not voting at all, and then looked into writing in a candidate of my choice. Unfortunately, the McCain/Palin campaign was so overwhelmingly negative, visionless, contradictory and off-putting, I begrudgingly checked the box marked “Democrat.” Better to have someone who seemed to have a clue what he was doing, I supposed.
Now that Obama is in office, there are many who cry “Socialist!”
Yeah, well guess what? Here’s another bait and switch for you: it was the Socialist Party that fought for and won the rights mentioned two paragraphs back.
So here’s the deal, if you think Obama is a socialist, with goals and ideals you don’t believe in, good for you.
If you’re a woman, stop voting, right now. You don’t deserve the right.
If you’re a parent, yank your kids out of school and put them to work immediately. If they’re not working, they’re not contributing to the betterment of America, and you love America, right?
If you’re ever injured at work, man up and deal with it, or quit, that you not be a burden on the poor, poor corporation who was so kind as to hire you.
Tell the government to get off the backs of big business, that we may continue to kill our pets with Chinese Dog Food, and poison our kids with lead-tainted toys, because trade restrictions are bad. And for fun, lets go back to the conditions of Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle.” That goddamned socialist author changed things for the worse; I say more animal feces and chopped off fingers in our meat!
Otherwise, do me a favor and shut the fuck up. Either you’re ignorant, which I have no problem with; ignorance is cured through education, but you should probably stay silent while learning. Or, worse, you’re stupid, which means you think you know what you’re talking about and toss out quotes by Thomas Jefferson, because you think they apply to the health care debate (they don’t), when in reality you’re just a dumb fucking meat-puppet that watches too much Fox News and thinks Sarah Palin is smart.
And that’s just fucking scary.
(Oh, and before you start pulling out lunatic-fringe Socialist propaganda and posting it here, fuck off. I don’t subscribe to every single thought under any umbrella, I’m just saying that if you ever use the phrase “Commie Care” to describe Obama’s Health Care plan, you’re not worth listening to, because you’re not debating on a rational level; this post is just me reducing myself to your level, simply to point out that you’ll still be shorter than anyone else in this debate, because you’re standing on bumper-sticker ideology, not books filled with facts)
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