it's the unconscious moments that mean the most

everyone prefers the feel of their own bed to foreign lodging, and i am no different.

more often than not, the urge to be home causes me to drive overnight after a show, that i may wake under my own covers over rising with a long drive ahead of me.

lydia isn't a fan of these treks. she's not fond of any extended drive i do, but when it involves arriving home somewhere in the neighborhood of 4am she becomes especially unhappy.

i used to do the overnight drive simply to get something tedious and boring out of the way; now i have selfish intent behind my reasoning.

when i enter into bed exhausted, though she doesn't even wake up, lydia scurries to my side and clamps down on me tightly.

the other night i arrived home and gently laid an arm across her stomach. lydia reflexively grasped it with both hands, pulling it to her as if linus' blanket and holding it tightly; i had to eventually use my other arm to free myself.

she never remembers these things in the morning upon waking, but damn if it doesn't just erase everything that's wrong with the world while happening.

i love my lydia.

she keeps me sane.

<3








(the kitties are less than enthusiastic about my returns; while i'm away, they get the run of my half of the bed. when i wander in and they're all asleep, i get irritated looks as i sometimes shoo them away. although, the other night i did scooch down on the bed, that pandora may keep her perch up upon the pillow. in the morning, lyds asked why i was positioned so awkwardly)