too much time on my mind while driving: random reflections

---some people define themselves too easily, such as anyone with a bumper sticker on their ford f-150 that says "i have a dream..." next to a picture of the white house flying the confederate flag.

nice.

i'd say "thanks for two terms of george bush, asshole," but i'm pretty sure he did a write-in vote for buchanan using crayons and block lettering.


---you know what's better than walking into a rest stop bathroom to take a leak and getting to listen to two truck drivers discuss the weather through stall doors as they poop?

everything

everything is better than listening to a myriad of grunts and farts intersprinkled with conversation. just ask those at gitmo if they'd rather be waterboarded or deal with dave and earl waxing philosophic while wiping.

hell, you're holding your breath either way.


---there is nothing better than dust to keep you on a diet.

i love it when i wrestle with the idea of eating a candy bar, know i shouldn't, but reach for it only to find a thin layer of dust covering the wrapper.

stale chocolate is disgusting; the flakey texture, the pale, faded look it gets… sometimes that little nudge is all you need to put the fucking thing down and just leave the gas station empty handed.

certain candy bars have near 20 grams of saturated fat in them.

goddamn.


---sometimes an old friendship now faded crosses your mind, and reaction can be varied: melancholy, angry, regretful, contented...

it's generally the ego that contributes to anything wrong in life, so i work as hard as i can to beat the fuck out of mine and make it submissive.

several weeks back, i emailed my ex an apology.

my ego was screaming at me not to, recalling slights and injustices by my perception; "she would call and email you out of the blue to check in, even though you asked her for space to deal with her departure!" "when you asked her if she could just avoid the comedy club for the two nights you were in town, she came down and flaunted her new boyfriend, then gossiped to the other comedian about you!!" "she called and spoke of reconciliation, yet when you went for it, she walked away, AGAIN, leaving you feeling worse and fucking stupid!"

but the louder my ego yelled, the more resolved i became.

i fired off a simple note, only mentioning only my actions, the ones i alone was responsible for.

i may have already felt closure, but her reply was the wry smile and nod of the head that goes with it.

you may not see what's best for you at any given moment in time, but when you realize where you're currently standing and look back to revisit an old situation, relief can overcome you.

"what the fuck was i thinking?" is such a fun question to laugh at yourself over.

thank you, rob gordon.




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